12012, the gazette - wataru/ruki. r; drugs (are bad kids, don't do them), some sexual references, mucho angst.
"have you ever fucked while on coke?"
laughter errupted at the question but they both knew it was a serious one and no matter the answer it was what they were gonna spend the night doing. and it was so fucked up and he screamed right out and gripped at the couch and ruki understood completely and he buried his face against wataru's shoulder.
"you need rehab"
he was sitting in the snow and he laughed right out because while the statement was true it was so absurd, coming from the one person he thought would never say something like that, because it was hypocritical and it was bizarre and it made him realise just how far gone he really was.
"fuck you," he said and started to cry.
"you're fucked up, miyawaki."
he knew that, knew it well and all too well and everyone else knew it too apparently, but he only cared to share it with one person, only needed to realise his sad situation with his other half - not reita, never reita.
his hand traced ruki's collarbones and his eyes were wide and it was like he was seeing the other's body for the first time because he saw it in a different light now.
"am i?" ruki sounded genuinely surprised, and wataru wanted to cry, understanding completely since he avoided mirrors too.
and ruki bought an extra belt so he could pretend his jeans still fit him.